Through the Looking Glass

I feel like I have been sleeping for a decade. A very nice sleep, bordering on dreaming. I wake up and find myself disoriented because the world is very different from when I left it...actually, scratch that it's exactly the same, it's me that's different. Guess, that's what they call perspective looking at the same thing from a different angle can make it look entirely different.

I used to be able to make sense of some of it. The rat race willingly run. The relationships forged with time. The domino effect of choices made. And the objectives we set that would complete life.Yet, now it just seems incredibly random and mostly without point. I remember, people used to share this exact perspective with me a decade ago and I would tell them about the pattern within the randomness. Do we all just justify our perspective on life?

I find myself reverting in some ways, reverting to the me that was. It's not an amusing thought. For too long, I thought I'd built a certain super-structure to life surrounding myself with things I needed. Now, it seems like someone took a foundation stone out and the entire thing is crumbling down to reveal that maybe these structures aren't stable in solitude. Someone once told me: "You're too young to be this self-assured." It was a compliment, I believe. Totally jinxed it.

If life is supposed to be a highway would you call travelling midway, taking a U-turn and visiting old intersections completing the journey? It feels like a matrix moment, but I think all ways are forward. I wish I was depressed, at least that way I could live without this clarity of vision. As things stand, I'm seeing a bit too clearly through the looking glass...and there's me, looking back at myself. The looking glass is a mirror. Great, another thing in life that's over-rated.

So, a decade later, none the wiser? Not quite. We invent the greater purpose for life? Mostly true, in some cases it invents us. It's better to have loved and lost? Affirmative, on a split decision. Don't burn bridges? I call shenanigans, hindsight is 20/20. God loves you? Maybe, we're just not on talking terms at the moment, I'm sure He understands. And finally, the big whammy: Life goes on? It does. But much like perspective, this revelation might bring no joy with it.

te extrano, chants.