Cloak and Dagger

I've not written in too long, often due to lack of inspiration but mostly due to lack of motivation. It's one of the new pearls of wisdom I have picked up at work, inspiration is good whereas, motivation is necessary. This post, for example comes not out of inspiration, as many a better idea have rotted enroute to the this reading space. It comes out of the motivation to share what I learned at my first 6 months of work. So, without further adieu I bring you...

The Reason for Brutus

Month 1: Enjoy the 'shiny' new-ness of being a professional. Learning new stuff, being productive, meeting new people with the cherry on top, your first salary. Yes, life is good. Your manager likes your sharpness, your colleagues swoon over your sense of humour, indeed opposing teams are jealous of your the 'brilliant and dedicated' (see: new and confused) professional that the new expiremental research team got their hands on.

Month 2: Your good at what you do, not realizing that everyone else ALSO was once good at what they did, before they hit the Red Brick Wall (tm). Your working hard, cutting edge technology has you impressed...you don't intially even notice the bleeding. Your contributing in meetings! This idea being so foreign to team-leads that they don't know what to think...so they do what all management does when they are told stuff they don't really comprehend; Smile and Nod. Yes sir, life couldn't be better.

Month 3: What do you mean I have to sit late hours? God damn, no one here is a professional! But I can change that, I will be. Realize that working on a self-dubbed expiremental research team is not a good thing. Higher management IS as incompetent as you thought they were..and no they really aren't playing at being oblivious, it comes naturally. A lot of smiling and nodding later, the team-lead hasn't implemented any of your ideas. You are beginning to suspect he might be slow. Something is approaching, from a distance...you get the feeling you are not going to like it.

Month 4: RED BRICK WALL!!! Yes, that emphasis was necessary. It's a wall because it impedes progress, made of brick because it is quintisentially unbreakable with your bare hands. And red...well, its red because all that doesn't stop you from trying. This is your Team-Lead, because not only is he an egoist, he is ignorant, unprofessional and might just be the mysterious Mister Loony Tunes who escaped from the instituition last year. Worst of all, he is such a nice guy! You bang against this RBW again and again, wailing in frustration and realizing your soul being sucked into the idea of a normal work life which yields no satisfaction and only pain. You are now a corporate drone, you find their jokes funny. You even like the idea of having a big ol' corporate family, and kissing up to Senior Management is quickly rising amonsgt your favourite past times.

STOP! RETHINK! EXPLETIVE EXTREME!

Month 5: Enter, the most hated guy at office, and yes...you will love him! First you start dropping hints at senior management as to the fact that your having doubts about your projects success. Then, vice-versa with your team-lead. I think this company is very unprofessional, glad you agree. You know, he was saying this company is very unprofessional...yeah I know. The real problem is our project lacks technical grounding. The nerve, team we-hate-you-because-you-get-more-glory was actually dissing us, saying that we have no technical grounding! Are we going to take this from them Kill him! Justice! Slaughter! Blood...and Execution.

"I never knew you could be this ruthless."
"You know, I didn't either."

Month 6: The smoke clears. Your project is scrapped. You are on the new 'It' team. This time, lets not throw the cloak and dagger away.

Moral of the Story: It may be work, but its more analagous to a battle-field. Know which battles to lose, keep your focus on the war. Make friends, but don't get too close. And most importantly remember this: Brutus really did love Ceasar.

One day as you stand with that blood-stained dagger, you too will wonder: "Did I do the right thing?"

You didn't....

...I know, feels great doesn't it.